Crash, Burn, Live, Learn

 Life is different for everyone.  Some have big loving families, small violent families, or isolate from any family. Family is our soul.  We begin life with people who’ve waited for and love us before they know us.  Their DNA is inside us, it is us and we are those families. Amazingly every human has a differing map, path, road, and in the end it’s all the same.  We crash, we burn, we live, we learn, and life is wonderful.

What happens in between is what matters.  From birth environment and genetics shape us into who we will become and how our stories unfold.  Will the baby smoke, drink, exercise, diet, laugh, smile, sing, no one really knows.  Hopefully that child has someone who loves them and cares for them throughout their lives.  Someone to show them the way life doesn’t have to be and how to choose a life to be proud of neither of which are easy.Along the way, that baby meet people outside of the family, goes to school, gets a job, and hopefully succeeds.  Sometimes that happens, really, just like the movies.  Other times, a million other things happen along their road of life.  They just fling from place to place, person to person, trying to find their way.  Those years of crashing, burning, living and learning are the most valuable. Without failure success isn’t as sweet.  Wisdom grows through mistakes, successes, relationships, and surprises.  We grow in how we deal with what life throws our way.  Running is not an answer.  Facing life is the best way to learn how to deal with it.

Chronic Illness

When we were children we pretended everything was always okay.  Smiles and all, we were okay and everyone loved us. Sometimes one of our friends would get sick. The chicken pox was the worst!  You wouldn’t see that friend for a few weeks. Or maybe your friend went into the hospital when they came back to school, they were different.  As adults we realized not everyone is going to love us. As we  became different, we realized some people are just going to hate us.  Too many days off, too many accommodations, too many this, too many that!  It wasn’t fair to them.  Well, would they like to trade positions?  Doubtful anyone would want our ball and jacks.  Our set isn’t pretty and shiny and sometimes even looks different, sounds different, acts different, cries more often, we all know.  Those with chronic illnesses know a different side to the story. How it feels to be that ill person usually with an incurable illness.

They come with lists of things not to eat, things not to do, places not to go, special circumstances where accommodations do not seem fair.  We smile and they look, always the look, they think we don’t notice.  Some people are so bold and approach us asking about what makes us different.  “Why do you have a cane, a walker, oxygen, dark glasses,” all the things their mothers hopefully told them never to ask.  It’s kind of rude, sometimes just an icebreaker but never comforting.  Sometimes they share their experiences, good, bad, and ugly, not because we ask for their opinion, because they are probably nervous and don’t know what else to do.

It’s even worse if we break the ice, talking about the weather, asking what floor they are going to, they, once again, hang their heads.  I wonder if they feel bad for not being sick?  That’s funny!  They don’t understand we are just glad, glad to be out of our homes, in elevators, busses, lines, anywhere but home.  We spend too much time at home.  Not because it needs to be cleaned, it probably does, but we don’t have the energy. We spend a lot of time for different reasons, the weather, the pollen, the flu, we just don’t want to see you.  Maybe next time I’ll say that I didn’t come here for your opinion.  I don’t think I could but, it would be funny.